It can get you in real trouble, both good and bad!
This isn’t news to some enlightened men and woman who already figured out that following their attractions consistently ends in a train wreck. But it continues to be a subject that every relationship coach and therapist has something to say about.
The problem is their conclusions are often horribly flawed, because they are missing one critical piece of information. Which means you are going to want to pay very close attention to what you are about to read.
In this series of articles I’m going to take you on the “Chemistry” journey of your life.
As we travel together you’ll begin to look at every relationship you are in differently.
You will be empowered when you felt lost or confused. Our journey will juice you when you haven’t even felt a spark. Most important, now you’ll be closer and more connected to the people you care about than ever before.
Our goal is “Love in the Now”. Let’s begin.
Scientists have a lot to say about attractions. Yes, Chemistry can in part be attributed to increased oxytocin and dopamine levels. Studies have show when you’re feeling it, your body is producing it.
But why?
I know if my finger is bleeding, somehow I was cut. But if I don’t figure out that holding the kitchen knife wrong caused the injury, no doubt I will do it again and again and again, much like many of us have with our relationships when we follow our chemistry!
We have been told that Chemistry has a life span of at the most 2 years. NOT TRUE! What scientist and relationship experts haven’t taken time to figure out is why the chemical releases drop and attractions seem to fade.
The reason is right in front of our faces. When everything thing else has gone to “sh*t in a hand basket” the chemical levels are pushed down. They will bounce right back if they get a chance.
Much like our bodies. If you get pneumonia you don’t stop breathing and your heart doesn’t stop beating. The body continues to attempt to do the best it can. But until you clear up the symptoms of pneumonia your heart and lungs are not at their best.
So it is with chemistry.
A man or woman gets your attention. You can feel them from a across a room. You see them and can’t takes your eyes of them. You attempt to look away, but unknown forces are pulling you back in their direction. You attempt to think about what you were doing or the people you maybe talking to and you realize, “Damn, I’m totally distracted!”
That’s the beginning. It’s cool! It’s yummy! It’s scary. It’s EXCITING!
Drawn to each other like magnets you meet, you engage, you dive in like a dry sponge in water and everything escalates. So far so good, right? Here is the potential rub.
You could be off on a journey that lasts a lifetime.
You could also be off on a journey that is shorter lived, like days, weeks or a couple years. In these cases you discover something about your partner that the chemistry masked in the beginning.
See how many you can relate to from this list:
- We don’t speak the same language
- They drain me of energy
- He or she doesn’t get my sense of humor
- I don’t really connect with their friends
- They cant keep up with me or they wont slow down for me
- We don’t see eye to eye about money
- Sex started out good, but things are very different now.
- I am sexually unfulfilled
- I don’t feel desired or I don’t have the same desire for them as they do me
Yea, me too! More than one of these has been true and for at least half the population, all of them multiple times.
The reason I said half the population is that 50% of us half technically “a broken picker.” Your attractions are False. The chemistry is very real but you are being misguided.
Would you like to understand why and know what to do about it?
Are you ready to find out how to avoid the train wrecks and have the loving relationship that rocks your world and doesn’t stop?
Come back tomorrow for the answer.
