Romance Shmomance

Do you like Valentines Day? I use to love it and spent hours and sometimes weeks planning for that special day when I could demonstrate my undeniable love for my sweetheart. The obvious question is, “Why did I wait?”

The same goes for Romance. I used to call myself an “Incurable Romantic.” Well, thank goodness I woke up to realize that romance could have two very different faces.

One face is lovely. Its taking the time to do something a little playful, a little creative, a little intoxicating and a lot loving for someone special in your life. All of this done, not out of need but out of pure unconditional love and acknowledgement.

The other face is quite different. It comes from a total place of need.

The need to feel important, to be recognized, accepted and connected. The need for pleasure, sex and attachment. The need for giving and receiving and the need to feel loving, be loved and to love oneself. Romance can be a very needy ordeal. The problem with this is that when we are wearing this face the romance is an illusion because it is about demonstrating to someone else that we should be important or valuable to him or her. It is not about Being.

Which face of romance do you wear with your sweetheart? If it’s the face of need consider putting on the other face for a change. Once you get used to it you will never go back. And if your sweetheart is wearing the same face you will probably being enjoying each others love for a long time.

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